Trigger warning: this article discusses family violence and the abuse of animals, which some readers may find distressing.
If you’re in immediate danger, call 111. If it isn’t safe to talk, stay silent and press 55 on a mobile to be put through to Police.
When someone experiences family violence, their pets are often at risk too. New Zealand research found that 53% of women delayed leaving an abusive relationship because they feared for their pet’s safety, and around one in four had a pet killed as part of the abuse.
In this article, we look at the link between pet abuse and domestic violence, and what you can do if you and your pets are at risk.
In this article
The link between pet abuse and domestic violence
A large body of research has found significant overlap between family violence and animal abuse. In a 2018 Women’s Refuge survey of more than 900 people, most of them women, over half said they had stayed with an abuser longer than they wanted to because they were worried about what would happen to their pet. Many victims also feel unable to confide in their vet or reach out to animal shelters, fearing it could make things more dangerous for them and their animals.
New Zealand has one of the highest rates of reported family violence in the developed world, and one of the highest rates of pet ownership. Around one in three Kiwi women has experienced physical or sexual violence from a partner in her lifetime. Women are more than twice as likely as men to experience intimate partner violence, but it happens to men too.
The law recognises the link. Under the Family Violence Act 2018, ill-treating a household pet, or threatening to, counts as psychological abuse. That means you can ask the Family Court to include protection for your pets when you apply for a protection order. Many people don’t realise this is an option, so it’s worth raising with your lawyer, Women’s Refuge or Shine (details below) .
So, what should you do if your pet is in danger from an abusive partner or family member?
Pet abuse and domestic violence: how is pet safety affected?
Pets can become targets when an abuser takes their aggression out on the animal, or uses the animal to show what they could do to a person. Harming or threatening to harm a pet is also a way to control someone and make it harder for them to leave.
Cats and dogs may also witness their owner being hurt. Like people, dogs can experience trauma just from being around violence.
Pets left behind when someone flees may not be fed or cared for. This is one of the biggest reasons people stay: most emergency housing and refuges can’t take animals.
What to do if you and your pets are being abused
Hard as it is to think about, please don’t stay in an abusive relationship for the sake of your pets. Your safety comes first.
It’s natural to feel guilty about leaving an animal behind. But you’ll only be able to help them, and the people you love, once you’re safe. In New Zealand, services like Pet Refuge (details below) exist so that you don’t have to choose.
If you’re in danger, get out first and make plans for your animals afterwards. The most dangerous time is often while someone is preparing to leave, leaving, or has just left. Moving your pets out ahead of time could alert the abuser to your plans and put you at greater risk.
If you can, make a safety plan before you go, ideally with the help of a specialist such as Women’s Refuge or Shine. They can also refer your pet to Pet Refuge, which offers free, confidential temporary shelter while you get settled somewhere safe.
If it’s safe to do so, pack a bag for your pet with:
- food, bowls and a lead
- any medication they take
- their bedding and a favourite toy
- proof that the pet is yours, such as adoption or purchase receipts, council dog registration, microchip details, or vet records in your name
If you have to leave without your pet, leave as much food, water and fresh bedding or litter as you can until you’re able to be reunited.
Organisations in New Zealand that can help
Pet Refuge is New Zealand’s only charity dedicated to sheltering pets while their owners escape family violence. Since opening in 2021, it has cared for cats, dogs, rabbits, birds and more, and it arranges care for larger animals such as horses through a network of safe farms. Its service is free, it transports pets from anywhere in the country, and pets can stay for up to four months until you’ve found a safe, pet-friendly home. The shelter’s location is kept confidential.
You can contact Pet Refuge’s caseworkers directly on 0800 PET REFUGE (0800 738 733) or [email protected]. Pet Refuge also takes referrals from Police, Women’s Refuge, Shine and other family violence services.
Women’s Refuge (0800 733 843, 24/7) supports women and children experiencing family violence, including safety planning and emergency accommodation. Its website has a Shielded Site that lets you get help without leaving a trace in your browser history.
Shine (0508 744 633) offers a domestic abuse helpline and live chat for anyone experiencing family violence, or worried about someone who is.
Safeguarding your pet if you stay
There are many reasons someone may choose, or be forced, to stay in an abusive situation. If that’s you and you’re worried about your pet, these steps can help:
- Keep a stash of emergency food and supplies for your pet in case money is withheld.
- Know where your nearest 24-hour emergency vet is.
- Line up a backup safe place for your pet, such as a trusted neighbour, friend or whānau member.
- Save the Pet Refuge and Women’s Refuge numbers somewhere your abuser won’t find them.
Important contact numbers
If you’re in immediate danger, call Police on 111. If it’s not safe to speak, stay silent and press 55 on a mobile to be put through to Police.
| Service | Who it’s for | Contact |
|---|---|---|
| Pet Refuge | Temporary shelter for pets of people escaping family violence | 0800 PET REFUGE (0800 738 733) |
| Women’s Refuge | Women and children experiencing family violence (24/7) | 0800 733 843 |
| Shine | Anyone experiencing domestic abuse, or worried about someone | 0508 744 633 |
| Are You OK (Family Violence Information Line) | Information and referrals to local services | 0800 456 450 |
| Shakti | Migrant and refugee women from Asian, African and Middle Eastern communities (24/7) | 0800 742 584 |
| Hey Bro | Men who feel they may harm a partner or whānau member (24/7) | 0800 439 276 |
| Victim Support | Anyone affected by crime or trauma (24/7) | 0800 842 846 |
| Need to Talk? | Free counselling with a trained counsellor (24/7) | Call or text 1737 |
Insurance for your pet
We know your pet means everything to you, and you want to keep them safe whatever happens. PD Insurance offers a choice of pet insurance plans with no lock-in contracts. Get a quote below.